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.I'm not LIKE you, though," I told her, wiping my tears. "I don't care what people think of me. If they don't like me..." I got beside myself. "...then FUCK them." My mom raised her hand to punish me, but stopped."Look," she said, standing up. "I don't wanna see you get hurt...like I did. Okay?" I nodded, angry at her ignorance. "Okay. Bye." She walked to the door."Mom?" I said, forcing her to look at me. "Am I still grounded?" Uhhh..." she said, her hand on the doorknob. "...no. But...just remember what I said, alright?" Yess," I groaned, hiding my anger.So that night, I lay in bed thinking. I thought about Jordan. I thought about my mom, and even my dad.Everyone was telling me something different. My heart told me to be gay. My mom told me to be straight. Jordan just told me not to tell anyone about us or him. And my dad...he was telling me a bunch of things. He told me that he was disappointed, and that I was a disgrace. I just couldn't take it. I wanted to take a knife and just. ”“I guess you must have done it again another night?” I asked her.“Yes, the night before his parents came home we went to another ‘movie’. That time was completely different, I loved it! Then we dated the rest of the school year and made love probably another half dozen times. It seemed better every time… then he graduated and went into the service, I don’t even know which branch. I never saw him again after that. I guess when he came home on leave, I must have been in Seattle in college.”She was making love in high school! I couldn’t even bring myself to hold a girl’s hand in high school, for God’s sake! “Did Tanner know?” I asked her.“No, nobody except Darrell and me knew. Now you do and you’re the only other one.” She added, “Our friends knew we were dating and making out pretty heavy, but no one knew we were sleeping together.”The only thing I could think to say was, “Thank you for telling me. You know how much I love you!”She kissed me on the lips and whispered, “I’m glad I told.
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